POKE-a-boo

Yesterday I read a post from the lovely Jalene who had her best friend tell the most awkward date story ever. I had to stifle my laughter under a blanket so I couldn’t be heard at work. So, it got me thinking about my most awkward date (which doesn’t even compare to the abovementioned story), and made me cringe with awkwardness.

I can’t remember whether I was a junior or senior in high school, but I had made a new friend named Annie. My parents made me go to church growing up but I refused to go to theirs and therefore followed Annie to hers. Enter Alex. Alex went to a different school and he was all about me. He immediately got my Instant Messenger screen name (duh) from Annie so we could chat the other six days a week that I wasn’t in his presence at church. Well, about 3 weeks in Alex starts casually mentioning his Winter formal coming up at his school and it all of a sudden became very clear what his intentions were (I was a bit of an oblivious one). And about 2 days later he asked me to the dance, to which I responded “You don’t’ want me to go—I don’t really like dances and I wouldn’t be fun.” That wasn’t enough for young Alex—he was a serious Go Getter and wasn’t going to take no for an answer. I finally agreed and decided it might be fun if I gave it a shot.

NO.

I arrived to take the classic pictures at one of his friend’s house in my, unbeknownst to me, hideous magenta gown. As we all lined up boy-girl-boy-girl, corsages itching the shit out of us, I felt a stiff poke behind me. Yes, overzealous little Alex had a raging boner during the awkward photo shoot. I was repulsed. I remember feeling nauseous and anxiously plotting my escape. I had to get out of there stat. Being the “follow-througher” that I am, I managed to stick it out through the actual dance, but lied and told him my mom said I had to be home by 10 p.m. 10 p.m. for a dance? Who was going to believe that? Luckily, Alex did and I made it home without having to sneak out during a bathroom break and having a friend pick me up. I’m pretty sure I avoided him with extreme fervor for the next two years…until he announced he was going to the same college as me…10 hours away.

Irony. Not a fan? Alright.

What is your most awkward date story? Please share! I would love to hear.